Santa Rita 120 Cabernet Sauvignon

Year: 2008
Country: Chile
Cost: $6.99

Mike Says: 120 Cabernet Sauvignon claims to honor 120 patriots who helped lead Chile to independence. I'm not sure if 7 dollar wine is the best way to honor someone. If I were to be honored I'd want to wine to be 50 bucks minimum. I'd be insulted if someone honored me with mere 7 dollar wine. That is an insult and I am insulted. If someone where to insult me so, I'd call them up and hold the phone to my nut sack. "Say hello to your mother, you cheap wine buying dickshit!"

By the way, the wine tastes fine. Especially for being so inexpensive.

Kristina Says: 120 is 17 times the cost of this wine, and that's normally the kind of ratio I'd steer away from in a beverage's cost-to-name ratio.  However, I'd say this wine is easily 1.75 times better (perhaps even twice as good) as the two-for-eight-dollar Gato Negro.  I'd go on about the glorious virtues of the 120 noble Chileans who bravely hid in a wine cellar to somehow free Chile from. . . I don't know who.  Apparently I need to go brush up on Chilean history, and drink another toast to those patriots.

Would buy again.

Paso Creek Cabernet Sauvignon

Year: 2008
Cost: $14.99


Mike says: Despite boasting the word creek in the name, the label is clearly a tree with an owl perched on a branch. This makes zero sense. I don't know what to believe in anymore.

Dadaist label aside Paso Creek is a pretty good wine. Simple and tart, it doesn't put on airs and walk around like it owns the place. What's that you say? That description doesn't make a lot of sense? We'll neither does a tree label on a wine name after a creek! Whoa!

When you're done recovering from your blown mind I'll turn things over to Kristina. I'm gonna go enjoy this wine.


Kristina says: This wine was selected via a rigorous screening process.  First qualification: I liked the label's graphic, a silhouette of an owl in a spooky tree.  Second qualification: upon further inspection, the graphic and name of the wine proved to be embossed or painted or something on there.  This overcame my initial objection to the price,  $4.99 over my intended wine expenditure.  I am glad it did, for this wine may have cost $14.99, but it easily tastes like $17.99 (which means in a restaurant it might set me back $35 or more).  Price aside, this is a solid cab; delicious on its own, or as the back label suggests, with "big food" (I assume this to be the opposite of things like baby corn, cocktail wieners, and those atrocious little hamburgers known as "sliders"). I bet it would taste awesome with one of those giant steaks which is free if you can finish it.

Glass Mountain 2003 Merlot

Mike Says: Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks. People who live in glass houses built on a glass mountain probably shouldn't throw much of anything. Farting is probably a risky activity.

Glass mountain (the wine) didn't throw any rocks or fart in my mouth, so that's cool. Unfortunately the wine didn't do much of anything in my mouth. Things should do things in my mouth. Well most things should do things in my mouth, things like wine.

Glass mountain is inoffensive, but bland; like your grandmother before she drinks too much wine.

Kristina Says: As a child I thoroughly enjoyed the fairy tale "The Princess and the Glass Mountain" which involved a princess forced to sit atop a glass mountain and wait for a suitable suitor to be able to make his way to the top.  While she waited, she threw golden apples down the side of the mountain as gifts to the knight she liked the most, to entice him to keep trying.  I wish someone would toss me a golden apple to entice me to try this wine again.  Upon further reflection, the princess must have been lacking in either the looks or personality department, seeing as how she needed to bribe her potential husband just to keep him from giving up.  As for Glass Mountain The Wine, I no longer remember how many golden apples I shelled out for it, but would not drink again unless it was less than eight apples.

Carlo Rossi Founder's Oak Merlot

Carlo Rossi Founder's Oak. 
Year: Unknown. 
Cost: Free!

Kristina Says: Our first box-wine review to grace this blog, Carlo Rossi has already beat out some bargain-bin bottles by rating "inoffensive."  The box boasts that this is a "fruit-forward" wine.  I am not sure if that is a desirable quality, but I like the way "fruit-forward" sounds like a boardroom buzzword.  This wine is totally shifting some paradigms with a proactive fruit-forward agenda.  You could almost say it is thinking outside the box.  Almost.

I can definitely say I would consume this wine again, especially if it was once again offered to me for free out of the back of a truck.  I can also safely vouch for it as a good base for single-serve microwave spiced wine.

Mike Says: Melville. Bach. Rossi. These are the names we associate with the word "classic", and let me tell you. Rossi is a fucking classic. Although, Rossi is not so much a great American novel classic, Rossi is more of a getting black-out drunk and passing out in your neighbor's broken '72 El Camino classic. If you're too bourgeoisie to sleep in the backseat of a 40 year-old car, maybe Rossi isn't for you. Me? I have a date with a box.

Duck Walk Vineyards--Long Island Chardonnay 2007

Mike says: White wine is for old women and unadventurous gay men. Being neither, this wine is foreign to me. The wine itself was produced on the mythical North Fork of Long Island, a foreign land which I assume is somewhere in Eastern Europe where things don't taste good. This wine doesn't taste very good.

AJ the guest blogger says: All I want to do about this wine is whine. It smells like farts. I hope it makes me drunk. It has a bad aftertaste. D+. I would rather drink a real duck's pee. However, I am going to pour another glass.

Kristina says: This is the last time I give Duck Walk a chance. Even though they are the cheapest in the "Local Wine" section ($6.95) they are not delicious EVER.

Down Under 2009 Cabernet Sauvignon

Mike Says: "Down Under" probably should have stayed from whence it came. Wherever it came from, it brought a watery taste with a kind of bitter finish with it. The label features a koala bear. Perhaps a hint at one of the ingredients? The venerable pop music group Men at Work warn that when dealing with anything from a land down under, you better run, you better take cover. I can't say I disagree with the Men at Work. Take cover from this wine.

Kristina Says: For once, I disagree with Mike. Although at first this wine seemed tart and watery at the same time, by the time Mike finished writing his review I was on to glass #2, which seemed to have opened up a bit, and was less unpleasantly sour. I contend that "Down Under" is a wine like a Vegemite Sandwich - an acquired taste. Also, it benefits greatly from being consumed while watching the music video for "Land Down Under" by Men at Work. At $6.99, I think I might be tempted to buy this bottle again, though it wouldn't be my first choice.

Leese-Fitch 2009 Cabernet Sauvignon

Mike says: Leese-Fitch delivers a pleasant sour bite that finishes nicely. Its the kind of flavor than is difficult to criticize or make smarmy comments about. I'm really at a loss for something to say. I only know how to tear down the inadequate. Confronted with something that is above honest criticism leaves me flustered and ashamed. I blame my harsh upbringing. The only way I can cope is to drink heavily. The Leese-Fitch will do nicely for that.

Kristina says: Leese-Fitch doesn't have a fancy label, but it does have a good name. "Pass the Leese-Fitch" one might say, or "Leese-Fitch me up!" As Mike noted, it has a fine slightly tart bite, and dare I say "oaky undertones"? I rate this wine "Acceptable" and would gladly buy it again, especially as it clocked in at a reasonable $13. And now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some Leese-Fitchin' to do.

P.S. Delicious with a wedge of danish blue.