Rene Barbier Catalunya

Kristina Says: This $10 1.5 liter bottle of blended red wine was dubbed "Catalunya", a blend of Merlot and Tempranillo - a wine type I'd never heard of.  According to Wikipedia, Tempranillo gets its name from the diminutive form of the Spanish word "temprano" meaning "early."  I would not drink this wine early, though it did taste rather "fresh."  Initially purchased to make some wine-braised pork chops, it made a fine second wine after the first bottle of more drinkable wine was consumed.  I rate it the equal of Yellowtail or that wine with the penguin on the bottle, but detract one point for lack of cute animal on the label (a table and chair on the beach?  not cute).

John (guest wine critic #1 says): My first choice at the store (Chimney Rock Cabernet Sauvignon) had no price tag, and I thought we might get a sneaky bargain due to an unknowledgeable store. However a price check showed that it was 7.5 times the price of the wine we ended up with.  The phrase I would use to describe Rene Barbier's Catalunya is "Quantity over Quality."  However, we had no problems finishing off the whole bottle. This wine was not suck.

Mom (guest wine critic #2 says): While this wine claims to hail from ancient terroir, the taste could best be described as "young and raw" thus making the label's claim that it "would go well with pizza" completely apt.  Truly it is a combination of the old world and the new.  If you are looking  for a fresh young wine with robust tannins to accompany your Pizza Hut personal pan pizza, this wine's for you.

Santa Rita 120 Cabernet Sauvignon

Year: 2008
Country: Chile
Cost: $6.99

Mike Says: 120 Cabernet Sauvignon claims to honor 120 patriots who helped lead Chile to independence. I'm not sure if 7 dollar wine is the best way to honor someone. If I were to be honored I'd want to wine to be 50 bucks minimum. I'd be insulted if someone honored me with mere 7 dollar wine. That is an insult and I am insulted. If someone where to insult me so, I'd call them up and hold the phone to my nut sack. "Say hello to your mother, you cheap wine buying dickshit!"

By the way, the wine tastes fine. Especially for being so inexpensive.

Kristina Says: 120 is 17 times the cost of this wine, and that's normally the kind of ratio I'd steer away from in a beverage's cost-to-name ratio.  However, I'd say this wine is easily 1.75 times better (perhaps even twice as good) as the two-for-eight-dollar Gato Negro.  I'd go on about the glorious virtues of the 120 noble Chileans who bravely hid in a wine cellar to somehow free Chile from. . . I don't know who.  Apparently I need to go brush up on Chilean history, and drink another toast to those patriots.

Would buy again.

Paso Creek Cabernet Sauvignon

Year: 2008
Cost: $14.99


Mike says: Despite boasting the word creek in the name, the label is clearly a tree with an owl perched on a branch. This makes zero sense. I don't know what to believe in anymore.

Dadaist label aside Paso Creek is a pretty good wine. Simple and tart, it doesn't put on airs and walk around like it owns the place. What's that you say? That description doesn't make a lot of sense? We'll neither does a tree label on a wine name after a creek! Whoa!

When you're done recovering from your blown mind I'll turn things over to Kristina. I'm gonna go enjoy this wine.


Kristina says: This wine was selected via a rigorous screening process.  First qualification: I liked the label's graphic, a silhouette of an owl in a spooky tree.  Second qualification: upon further inspection, the graphic and name of the wine proved to be embossed or painted or something on there.  This overcame my initial objection to the price,  $4.99 over my intended wine expenditure.  I am glad it did, for this wine may have cost $14.99, but it easily tastes like $17.99 (which means in a restaurant it might set me back $35 or more).  Price aside, this is a solid cab; delicious on its own, or as the back label suggests, with "big food" (I assume this to be the opposite of things like baby corn, cocktail wieners, and those atrocious little hamburgers known as "sliders"). I bet it would taste awesome with one of those giant steaks which is free if you can finish it.

Glass Mountain 2003 Merlot

Mike Says: Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks. People who live in glass houses built on a glass mountain probably shouldn't throw much of anything. Farting is probably a risky activity.

Glass mountain (the wine) didn't throw any rocks or fart in my mouth, so that's cool. Unfortunately the wine didn't do much of anything in my mouth. Things should do things in my mouth. Well most things should do things in my mouth, things like wine.

Glass mountain is inoffensive, but bland; like your grandmother before she drinks too much wine.

Kristina Says: As a child I thoroughly enjoyed the fairy tale "The Princess and the Glass Mountain" which involved a princess forced to sit atop a glass mountain and wait for a suitable suitor to be able to make his way to the top.  While she waited, she threw golden apples down the side of the mountain as gifts to the knight she liked the most, to entice him to keep trying.  I wish someone would toss me a golden apple to entice me to try this wine again.  Upon further reflection, the princess must have been lacking in either the looks or personality department, seeing as how she needed to bribe her potential husband just to keep him from giving up.  As for Glass Mountain The Wine, I no longer remember how many golden apples I shelled out for it, but would not drink again unless it was less than eight apples.